Buffy Fashion Roulette: “Band Candy”
Today’s Buffy Fashion Roulette draw is “Band Candy”. This has a lot of fun potential. What I remember most about my original viewing of it is that upon seeing Giles turn all bad and sexy, I felt very insecure in my homosexuality. Let’s investigate this further.
In previous results news, the ever-challenging “Conversations With Dead People” provided some interesting results. You applauded Dawn’s tuxedo shirt and Spike’s regular-people clothes, giving them a tie for second place with 24% of the vote each. But, as she often does in these types of situations, Buffy reigned supreme, netting 30% of all votes cast.
A third of you guys were cruel assholes and voted Jonathan worst dressed for the clothing that he was murdered in. Just for that, I’m punishing you with this “worst dressed” example picture. The knife in his gut is a metaphor for your voting results. The blood spilled will open the gates of Bad Buffy Fashion. Black velvet jackets and fuzzy sweaters will start pouring out of it any minute now. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
As the episode begins, Buffy and Giles are prepping for her SATs in the cemetery. Buffy is wearing a practical, sporty ensemble. I dig the red hoodie; it’s very autumn-friendly. I also like the braids. Oh yeah, and true story- I totally have those yoga pants.
Giles is particularly uptight-looking here, which I guess is done to counteract the untethered badassness that will soon bewitch the viewing audience. His vest is buttoned all the way up and he’s wearing some weird silk scarf. It looks like the runner of a dining room table.
Buffy stakes a vamp with her #2 pencil, which is still funny to me.
Mr. Trick and Mayor Wilkins are scheming in suits. Mayor Wilkins prefers earth tones- browns, greens, mustards. He sort of dresses like Dwight Schrute. He has to though, because he has to convey this whole “folksy” schtick. Oh my god, I just realized it: Mayor Richard Wilkins was the first coming of Sarah Palin.
Mr. Trick prefers flashier suits. It’s a look that SUITS him. *snicker*
The next morning at Sunnydale High, we open with a rare shot of all of the Scoobies taking a stroll together.
Cordelia looks pretty amazing. She could wear that outfit tomorrow and still look alright. I have no complaints in the Cordelia department. Xander looks totally fine and acceptable. It’s the front row that bothers me.
Willow, of course, is wearing something odd. She is wearing analogous colors, and white tights. It’s not working. The sweater is fuzzy. Her left arm is missing. Et cetera, et cetera. Buffy’s outfit looks alright from the waist up; the skirt, however, is a hideous mess. It’s not too terrible until you realize that there’s visible pink fabric inside of it, presumably to add some sort of an ‘accent’. When will clothing designers realize that nobody looks good in green and pink except for watermelons and elderly beachgoers?
My complaint with Oz is more thematic, rather than “this is a bad look”. Once again, Oz is wearing something that no coolest, hippest guy in school would ever wear. He looks like a stoner. What does his shirt say? “Concerted contractions?” What does that even mean? Is it something that happens when he turns into a werewolf? The shirt on top is even weirder. I get what the costume department tries to accomplish with Oz, but I still maintain that they fail a good 90% of the time.
Hey look, it’s Principal Snyder! This is my first BFR recap with him in it. In retrospect, I feel as though he dresses like a businessman at a Wild West saloon. You know, like the town banker or somebody.
I have found my first fashion repeat, guys! I feel so proud of myself. A couple of months ago I recapped season two’s “Ted”. In that episode, Joyce wore this shirt while retrieving some juice from the fridge and lecturing Buffy.
One year later, she’s wearing the same shirt to retrieve some water from the fridge while lecturing Buffy.
The first time I saw this shirt I described it as “confusing” and “smocklike”, calling it “something… that cults make their newbie members wear.” I’m easing up on it a bit now, because Joyce’s hair and makeup looks a million times better this time around, and because she’s performed the time-honored Buffy tradition of “throwing a sweater over it”. Either way, I think it’s weird that she’s lecturing Buffy from the refrigerator in this shirt on two separate occasions.
Buffy’s off to meet Giles in another sporty ensemble. All black, even. It must be workout time!
And it is. Giles gets hit in the head with a four square ball, which is very comical in a slapstick sort of way.
Buffy peaces out to spend the evening with her mom, except psyche! She’s lying to Joyce AND to Giles, and is off to watch Angel do some creepy Tai Chi. Man, it doesn’t matter how old I get. Every time I see this scene I laugh all the way through it.
(Anyone care to explain to me why Angel is exercising in suit pants?)
Later, Buffy gets busted by Joyce and Giles for her Tai Chi rendezvous. As you can see here, the band candy is starting to take its magical effect on the old people of Sunnydale. Joyce’s once neatly folded shoulder sweater has drooped to one side (god, those pants are HORRIBLE). Giles is sitting like some a-hole on the subway who takes up half of a row because his testicles need a seat of their own.
Uh oh, it’s ETHAN! I wish he’d switch outfits with that guy. You know, just for fun.
This seating arrangement is really weird. Even with the whole infidelity issue, why wouldn’t Cordelia and Xander sit next to each other? I never got the feeling that Buffy and Cordelia particularly liked each other, even after Cordy and Xander started going out. Anyways, Cordelia’s skirt seems really high-waisted to me. Buffy’s sweater and top are mostly adorable, methinks.
Willow, is that a rust-colored fuzzy sweater I spy on you? Again? I’m sure she’s worn this sweater in a previous recap of mine, but I don’t care to go back and check because actually, she’s probably worn it eight times. Xander’s sweater looks pretty hot. Go Xander!
Beneath the table, Xander and Willow are sneakily indulging in some shenanigans involving matching Adidases. Once Cordelia saw them wearing coordinated skate shoes she should have known that something was amiss! Good thing Xander’s not wearing white tights, though. That would have been a dead giveaway.
Once again, Principal Snyder looks like he’s about to ask the sheriff to catch the scoundrel who robbed his bank.
Buffy shows up at Giles’ to make sure he’s okay, seeing as how he didn’t show up for study hall. Check out that tiny powder blue pleather backpack. Yikes. That’s one of those items that I see at least three of every time I go to Thrift Town.
Those are totally not tobacco cigarettes that Giles and Joyce are smoking. Not at all.
Giles, you can see, has begun his descent into madness by taking off his suit jacket. (Cue Chippendale’s music.) Joyce is wearing a strange snakeskin(?) print dress and drinking Kahlua, a classic choice for underage drinkers everywhere.
A little while later, it’s all over. It’s like Reefer Madness. They’re strung out and listening to Cream. Joyce has unbuttoned her dress and is wearing a ribbed shirt, a miniskirt and thigh high boots beneath it. I’m pretty sure she’s stolen at least two of those clothing items from her daughter. Giles has lost his tie, his suspenders are around his waist, and he has unbuttoned his shirt. Also, he wants to start a band.
Meanwhile at the Bronze, a place that Giles has declared “dead”, Oz, Willow and Buffy are bewildered by the debauchery that is taking place. Oz is wearing a cabana shirt. Once again, I’m not buying it on him.
Here’s a better look at Willow’s skirt from study hall. It’s exactly what we would expect from her.
Ethan and Mr. Trick have met up at the candy factory to discuss business. Ethan’s clothing is typically ill-fitting. Mr. Trick looks pretty swanky. The man knows how to wear a suit. We cannot deny that.
Wow, check out these two. Giles’ accent has changed dramatically, as has his outfit. Also, he’s wearing a bit of eyeliner. Fancy that. Joyce has a fabulous pair of stems (who knew?). Ah, teenage romance. It’s so unchecked, so passionate, so dangerous.
Giles steals this absolutely hideous pimp coat for Joyce, beats up a cop and bones her on the hood of a police car. (I am incredibly envious of Joyce.) Buffy catches them making out, and she is PISSED. She’s also envious of her mother’s new pilfered cockatoo feather coat, which does not reflect highly on either of them.
Then all of the baddie action starts. Ripper chases Ethan through the candy warehouse, inspiring this scene where real, non-stunt double Giles hops over a conveyer belt like he does it every day. He’s such a juvenile delinquent, and I love him for it.
Buffy wins; the mayor is really angry. His outfit is pretty much the same as it always is.
The Scoobies go back to school, and all of the grownups are mortified at their behavior. Principal Snyder is perhaps the most embarrassed of all. You know, I always found it odd that the show never addressed the fact that Snyder now definitely knew about Buffy’s superhero status. We find out later that he likely knew all along, but the Buffy gang had no knowledge of this at the time. Fashion-wise, Snyder doesn’t look half bad. You know, sometimes it just is what it is.
He demands that the Scoobies clean the “Kiss Rocks” graffiti off of the lockers, a saying that befuddles the youths of 1998. Willow’s outfit is a bit more queer-looking than usual. It’s very softball-coach-as-casual-dance-chaperone. Oz is wearing a ringer tee, which I guess I can buy, but again with the toolish open button-down shirt thrown over it all? Really, show? Xander looks like he auditioned for Jersey Shore but didn’t get the part, and somehow Cordelia’s purse is the same print as her skirt is. Yeah Cordy, I know that trick. It’s called, “your grandma made it.”
Speaking of embarrassed, Giles can barely face Buffy. You know, I do love Buffy’s general uber-blondeness in season 3, but sometimes they go a bit too far with it. The whole comma-looking peroxide-d bits in the front are really unnecessary. I like her sweater, although perhaps she should have considered wearing an undershirt with it. (I can see her unmentionables through it.)
Hey, why is Giles wearing a pinky ring? Is this something that he does often and I just never noticed it before?
Poor Joyce looks like she wants to cry buckets. Embrace the sluttiness, Joyce. It’ll embrace you right back. So will Ripper.
What do you guys think she eventually did with that pimp coat, anyway?
Before we get to voting, an answer to a question that has been posed by a couple of you: I am happy to do interviews; if you want to ask me some questions about myself or my love for all things Buffy for your blog or publication, you can find my email address on my “about me” page. Put “Buffy Fashion Roulette” or something similar in your email title so I don’t accidentally think it’s spam.